Wednesday, October 31, 2007
What a Day! Halloween?!
A great day! Not because its Halloween. Haha. But I'm touched by some things my friends did and said to me. Really really appreciate the friends around me. I don't know how to say it face to face with you all, but I'll write it here. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart. =)
Met up with Juan after her work today too. Picked her up from Expo and went TM for dinner and movie. A special day indeed cos Juan received her first pay! Happy for her cos its her first pay and damn happy cos shes treating me to a good meal soon. HAHAHAH.
Watched The Game Plan today. I couldnt stop laughing throughout the show. Damn funny and touching. Highly recommended yea! NEVER SAY NO!
What a day filled with love, happiness and laughter that I thought is worth sharing.
Less than half an hour to November 07. Time really flies. Shall end here with a quote from my BNF lecturer, Uncle Ngor- Time is our greatest enemy, not money.
Cool Shit 2
Haha. Ms Tay's introduced this game on her blog. My best score now is 97.692m! Try it if u are bored or stressed up.
Worst Attempt
Best Tryhttp://flightsimx.archive.amnesia.com.au/
My NTU friends, study hard and 'add oil'!!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Random....
Was doing tutorial in school yesterday with Chinh when I received a sms from Meihui. Hahs, one of my 'long lost friend' from TJ. Thanks, really, for all your words of encouragement. Appreciate it! We shall meet for Mahjong, hopefully soon, after I find another of my long lost friends. Haha.
Been busy for the last two weeks, with studies, books, tv shows, Juan and her favourite activities. Haha. Hardly any time for me to sit down and blog.
Came across a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie about the effect of silence on human relationship.
Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?
I take comfort in silence, alone. But when I'm with my friends, for all the noise we make, I am not comfortable talking about my feelings in front of others. Sometimes even Juan have a hard time trying to 'psycho' me into talking about my problems.
I am shy and quiet. Shit, I got Autism.
Been busy for the last two weeks, with studies, books, tv shows, Juan and her favourite activities. Haha. Hardly any time for me to sit down and blog.
Came across a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie about the effect of silence on human relationship.
Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?
I take comfort in silence, alone. But when I'm with my friends, for all the noise we make, I am not comfortable talking about my feelings in front of others. Sometimes even Juan have a hard time trying to 'psycho' me into talking about my problems.
I am shy and quiet. Shit, I got Autism.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Bored.. to tears
The previous weekend has been the longest weekend in my life. I should cherished all the time I have now. Ironically, I felt that time is secretly holding still when I'm not looking at my watch. No school on Friday, then slack on Saturday and Sunday. So many occasions I feel like going to blade at ECP but its simply too far and troublesome for me to travel there. Thought of just blading around in Sengkang, on those rough and unfamiliar terrain, but I'm not brave enough to risk falling and spraining my wrist. Haha yes, I'm not so 'adventurous'. Old liao better be careful.
I ended up reading more about Siberian Husky. LMAO. I just discovered there is a breed of dogs very close to Siberian Husky. They are the Alaskan Malamute. Basically, they have exactly the same characteristics as the Siberian Husky, just different in sizes.
Alaskan Malamute were bred for their strength. They are bigger in sizes than the Huskies. Males 25 inches at the withers for the height, 85 pounds for the weight; females, 23 inches at the withers, 75 pounds. Blue eyes are considered a major fault for their breeding standards while Huskies are allowed to have blue eyes.
Huskies were bred for their speed. They are medium in sizes. Males 21-23.5 inches at the withers, 45-60 pounds; females, 20-22 inches at the withers, 35-50 pounds. If the males are over 23.5 inches or the females over 22 inches at the withers (for their height), they are considered to have major fault.
(1 inch =2.54 cm, 1 pound = 0.453592kg)
Most people would have mistaken an Alaskan for a Husky though, as commented by a lot of Alaskan owners.
Yes! I'm that bored.
Guess the only thing I look forward to now is going to school and meeting with my young friends. Hahs, sounds pathetic. School used to be the last place I wanna be in for the last 2 decades.
Anyway, hope I will get out of this moody period soon. Heres a song I found quite meaningful and I quite like it.
Kudos to me! I suck. Hahas
有一种爱叫做放手- 阿木
歌词内容：
如需转载歌词请务必保留以下信息！
本歌词转自〖中文歌词库〗 http://www.cnLyric.com
如果两个人的天堂
象是温馨的墙
囚禁你的梦想
幸福是否象是一扇铁窗
候鸟失去了南方
如果你对天空向往
渴望一双翅膀
放手让你飞翔
你的羽翼不该伴随玫瑰
听从凋谢的时光
浪漫如果变成了牵绊
我愿为你选择回到孤单
缠绵如果变成了锁链
抛开诺言
有一种爱叫做放手
为爱放弃天长地久
我们相守若让你付出所有
让真爱带我走
为爱结束天长地久
我的离去若让你拥有所有
让真爱带我走 说分手
为了你 失去你
狠心扮演伤害你
为了你 离开你
永远不分的离去
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Turning Point
I used to think I'm smart. Someone who is capable of accomplishing great things. I was a smart student when I was young. I remembered I studied my PSLE on the eves of my actual exams and still managed to still get into a good sec school. Though I was often reprimanded for my laziness, my family had high expectations of me. I was never serious on my school work and though I was one of the lousier students in the 'reputable' schools, I have always managed to get away with last minute work. I would have to say that my results were good compared to the amount of effort I have put in.
Then I went on into the army. I was thin and wasn't fit at all when I entered BMT. My objective at BMT is to clear IPPT and SOC the first time I take the test. Failure to do so would mean that I would need to stay back on Sats or book in earlier on Suns to do remedial training and worse still, go through the entire tests again. After weeks of training and when the first test came, I managed to pass them during the first attempt. I was happy with just passing on the first try while many others had failed. Booking out earlier is just so important to me then. My mentality was 'Do it once, do it good'.
One or two weeks after the initial IPPT test, my company decided to conduct the second test for the failures. When the names of those who failed were called, I was super happy at the bottom of my heart, "Yes! Can go back bunk and slack!" When my platoon sergeant called my name, I was stunned. He told me that 3 of us who have got silver already were very closed to getting gold and that we were to try again. I remember out of the few stations like sit up, pull up, shuttle run, standing board jump and 2.4km run, i got all gold standard except for the 2.4km run. My running time then was 11min 30sec. I thought to myself, "How the hell am I going to reduce the timing to 9min 44 sec?" But being a 'good' soldier, when he asked me if I wanna retake, (There is no choice. He was just asking for the sake of asking) I could only say "Yes, Platoon Sergeant!" I swear I hated myself for not just passing at borderline then. Those who just passed gotta go back and rest.
I ended up taking the rest of all the IPPT tests at BMT. 10 min 40 sec, 10 min 05 sec, 9 min 50 sec. When I got post out, I was only a few seconds away from getting gold. And I am still silver.
The rest of my army life was all 'fairy tale'. Being posted to OCS, then to 1 Guards. I was proud of myself.
Then came University and the turning point of my life. I was getting too complacent and then life decided to teach me a harsh lesson. I'm not that good, as least not as good as what I thought I was. I wasn't a good friend, wasn't a good boyfriend, wasn't a good son, wasn't a good brother and I was such a failure.
During the 2nd and 3rd year of my NTU life, I started failing my modules. I often say its because I wasn't interested in the course but the key lies in my laziness. Some people hated the course too, but can still manage the work. I seldom went home from then on. Everyday I would just hide in the small hostel room and indulge myself on games. Every month I would just go back home for dinner on 2 or 3 weekends.
You reap what you sow. As expected, I underperformed and was eventually 'kicked' out by the school.
I find myself all alone suddenly. I felt lost, hopelessly lost. I didn't know how to tell my family. I lived each day in hall suffering, going through all the possible choices and options I could choose. The easiest way out would be just appeal back to school silently and just get the crisis over and done with, without my family knowing. I sank into depression. I have seen my school principle and she advised me to go home and discuss the matter with my family.
Later that same evening, I received a call from my brother. They found out about my situation because the school had sent a letter notifying my parents about my case. I was expecting a good scolding from my brother but he simply said "Come home on Friday. Lets talk about it."
My elder sister started messaging me the next day, telling me everything would just be fine and if I wanted to appeal back to school. I told her even if I appealed, I would probably end up failing again. I chose to leave without appealing after my sister reassured me money would not be an issue.
The next day, my elder sister picked me up from hall and went with me to UniSim and Stansfield College to check out the various courses. I chose to enrol in Stansfield, taking up BSc Economics and Finance. I went home for the first time in weeks, ready to face the rest of my family.
I only found out days later that my sister took M.C. that day from school because she cried her eyes swollen when she knew about my expellsion. I cried.
Not long after that, I moved out of Hall 2 to my sister's place. I started my school in Stansfield on 2nd July. I went back occasionally back to Hall to still help up with the upcoming Orientation Camp and also slowly breaking the news to some of the committee members. Just wanna say how much I owe them for not being able to commit for these period, especially during Main Comm Recce and Seniors Camp. Many thanks for their understanding.
Despite my mother's constant reminder for me to get a job, I am having difficulty finding one. (I promised her I will start finding after the camp) Reason being I can only work whole day on Fri, Sat and Sun. From Mon to Thurs I need to find jobs that require me only at night. Thats assuming I could keep up with my school work, which is becoming more demanding by each week.
On a brighter note, I am definitely happier now. I am really enjoying studying now with my new friends at Stansfield. I have never been so studious in my whole entire life!
At home, I am the floor I.C. I vacuum and mop the floor every week. (sometimes with the help of Juan) And when my sister told me that they are having trouble paying off the electrical and water bills, I started sleeping without air-con and bathe without turning the water heater on. I do my own laundry and skip ironing my clothes as they are too much of a hassle. I am really trying to be more independent and not to cause more troubles for my family.
I knew that I have to be more independent. By the time I finish this course, I would be a 27 year old, with no work experience. Time is against me. I can only blame myself for this delay.
Juan is the innocent victim of my mistake. If there is any possibility of us getting married, she would have to wait 3 years for me to finish studying and a good 2 years at least for me to build up a stable career.
Who am I to ask a girl to wait for me till she's old for my mistake?
Then I went on into the army. I was thin and wasn't fit at all when I entered BMT. My objective at BMT is to clear IPPT and SOC the first time I take the test. Failure to do so would mean that I would need to stay back on Sats or book in earlier on Suns to do remedial training and worse still, go through the entire tests again. After weeks of training and when the first test came, I managed to pass them during the first attempt. I was happy with just passing on the first try while many others had failed. Booking out earlier is just so important to me then. My mentality was 'Do it once, do it good'.
One or two weeks after the initial IPPT test, my company decided to conduct the second test for the failures. When the names of those who failed were called, I was super happy at the bottom of my heart, "Yes! Can go back bunk and slack!" When my platoon sergeant called my name, I was stunned. He told me that 3 of us who have got silver already were very closed to getting gold and that we were to try again. I remember out of the few stations like sit up, pull up, shuttle run, standing board jump and 2.4km run, i got all gold standard except for the 2.4km run. My running time then was 11min 30sec. I thought to myself, "How the hell am I going to reduce the timing to 9min 44 sec?" But being a 'good' soldier, when he asked me if I wanna retake, (There is no choice. He was just asking for the sake of asking) I could only say "Yes, Platoon Sergeant!" I swear I hated myself for not just passing at borderline then. Those who just passed gotta go back and rest.
I ended up taking the rest of all the IPPT tests at BMT. 10 min 40 sec, 10 min 05 sec, 9 min 50 sec. When I got post out, I was only a few seconds away from getting gold. And I am still silver.
The rest of my army life was all 'fairy tale'. Being posted to OCS, then to 1 Guards. I was proud of myself.
Then came University and the turning point of my life. I was getting too complacent and then life decided to teach me a harsh lesson. I'm not that good, as least not as good as what I thought I was. I wasn't a good friend, wasn't a good boyfriend, wasn't a good son, wasn't a good brother and I was such a failure.
During the 2nd and 3rd year of my NTU life, I started failing my modules. I often say its because I wasn't interested in the course but the key lies in my laziness. Some people hated the course too, but can still manage the work. I seldom went home from then on. Everyday I would just hide in the small hostel room and indulge myself on games. Every month I would just go back home for dinner on 2 or 3 weekends.
You reap what you sow. As expected, I underperformed and was eventually 'kicked' out by the school.
I find myself all alone suddenly. I felt lost, hopelessly lost. I didn't know how to tell my family. I lived each day in hall suffering, going through all the possible choices and options I could choose. The easiest way out would be just appeal back to school silently and just get the crisis over and done with, without my family knowing. I sank into depression. I have seen my school principle and she advised me to go home and discuss the matter with my family.
Later that same evening, I received a call from my brother. They found out about my situation because the school had sent a letter notifying my parents about my case. I was expecting a good scolding from my brother but he simply said "Come home on Friday. Lets talk about it."
My elder sister started messaging me the next day, telling me everything would just be fine and if I wanted to appeal back to school. I told her even if I appealed, I would probably end up failing again. I chose to leave without appealing after my sister reassured me money would not be an issue.
The next day, my elder sister picked me up from hall and went with me to UniSim and Stansfield College to check out the various courses. I chose to enrol in Stansfield, taking up BSc Economics and Finance. I went home for the first time in weeks, ready to face the rest of my family.
I only found out days later that my sister took M.C. that day from school because she cried her eyes swollen when she knew about my expellsion. I cried.
Not long after that, I moved out of Hall 2 to my sister's place. I started my school in Stansfield on 2nd July. I went back occasionally back to Hall to still help up with the upcoming Orientation Camp and also slowly breaking the news to some of the committee members. Just wanna say how much I owe them for not being able to commit for these period, especially during Main Comm Recce and Seniors Camp. Many thanks for their understanding.
Despite my mother's constant reminder for me to get a job, I am having difficulty finding one. (I promised her I will start finding after the camp) Reason being I can only work whole day on Fri, Sat and Sun. From Mon to Thurs I need to find jobs that require me only at night. Thats assuming I could keep up with my school work, which is becoming more demanding by each week.
On a brighter note, I am definitely happier now. I am really enjoying studying now with my new friends at Stansfield. I have never been so studious in my whole entire life!
At home, I am the floor I.C. I vacuum and mop the floor every week. (sometimes with the help of Juan) And when my sister told me that they are having trouble paying off the electrical and water bills, I started sleeping without air-con and bathe without turning the water heater on. I do my own laundry and skip ironing my clothes as they are too much of a hassle. I am really trying to be more independent and not to cause more troubles for my family.
I knew that I have to be more independent. By the time I finish this course, I would be a 27 year old, with no work experience. Time is against me. I can only blame myself for this delay.
Juan is the innocent victim of my mistake. If there is any possibility of us getting married, she would have to wait 3 years for me to finish studying and a good 2 years at least for me to build up a stable career.
Who am I to ask a girl to wait for me till she's old for my mistake?
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Random Shitty Thoughts
I have left NTU for quite awhile now and after interacting less with Chou Chou, I have become more 香. Shall stop addressing myself as Chao Chou. Hahahaha
Have been reading a book "Marley and Me" written by John Grogan recently. Just finished reading it. Its a story about a 'mad' Labrador Retriever that is described by the author as the world's worst dog. It was so hilarious, the things the dog did and the state of madness he was in.
The dog was practically crazy- swallowing his owners' gold necklace, snatching food from the young kids' plates and even ate shit!
Towards the end of the book, emotions were pouring in. The author described every health problem of the 13 year old dog (one human year is equal to seven years in the dog life); from the dog losing his hearing, to becoming less agile and weak (some hip problem that causes him to walk in pain with his hind legs) and finally to the day when the author had to make the humane decision to put the dog to sleep to end his suffering. Its amazing how dogs can find a place in human families and contribute selflessly to its owner. A dog would not care what race, religion, whether your rich or poor, educated or illiterate, or whether you are smelly. As long as you are his owner and gave him your heart, he would be there for you.
I love dogs too! My hot favourite is Siberian Husky. Its big, looks fierce and intimidating. However, these dogs are actually gentle and very fond of its family. A puppy at heart, they are clever, sociable, easy going and docile. They are not a watch dog as they seldom bark and love everyone. They are cool towards other dogs but if attacked, are able to fend itself easily. And of course, they are beautiful.
In fact most Husky that I have seen do not bark. They always approach wagging their tail and so full of self confidence. But for me, even if I can afford a Husky, getting one is impossible as these large dogs are not suitable and not allowed in HDB flats. Hahahas
Owning a dog is a dream for me, but until I'm financially stable, have a place of my own and ready to share my love with them, I shall continue dreaming cause I know its a big decision to make. Such huge responsibility to be a dog owner. I had a couple of hamsters before, and I know how much time, money, love and attention must be spent already on these small animals in order to keep them happy or contented. I must admit I did not do a very good job with my hamsters, but at least they all survived close to two years with me, which is the life expectancy of the small creatures.
Came across a song by SHE's Ella, written and sang by herself for her dog, which died in an operation I heard.
This song reminds me of my hamster, Dan Dan. He was the cutest hamster I have ever seen, always letting me torture and never once bit me or anyone who 'handled' it. Was a great pity that all the photos that we took with it is gone. All crashed along with Juan and my computers. Though I have always suspected that it might be a "retarded" hamster, it forms a part of my hall life memory. Dan Dan, Ni Ni, Ball Ball, Mao Mao and Mei Mao, we misses all of you.
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